You Can Do Anything, Not Everything

Being a full-time mom and wife, owner of a successful business, and learning how to handle everything in between by saying no, delegating tasks, and making time for myself.

Maybe if I write it down, it will finally happen.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to be involved. I’ve always looked for ways to create more opportunities. Not just for myself, but for the people around me. Growing up with three active brothers meant spending countless hours at their sporting events. One day, while sitting at one of their lacrosse practices, I asked my mom, Why don’t we have a girls’ lacrosse team?

Just like that, in 4th grade, I helped start the first girls' lacrosse team in my hometown.

Apparently, that mindset never left me. Shocking to absolutely no one.

Fast forward to today, and I’m still trying to make things happen, build things, improve things, and stay involved in my community. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I don’t really have time to be as involved as I am, but something in me constantly feels the need to stay busy, to keep moving, to help create momentum.

Basically, if there’s an empty plate in front of me, I will somehow find a way to pile three more things on it and then complain the plate is heavy.

Currently, I’m the President of the Durango Rink Project, which sounds cooler than it is currently. We are working with the City to bring a new ice facility to town. I help run Animas River Days with an incredible board. I serve on the Animas Watershed Partnership Steering Committee. I run a business and paddle school, 4Corners Riversports.

And that’s just the “professional” list.

I’m also the mom of three beautiful children and the wife to my lobster (yes, Friends reference fully intended).

Which means on any given day, I can go from business owner to snack bitch to event planner to therapist to referee in under six minutes.

So am I passionate about all these things? Absolutely.

Do I also love being busy? Probably.

Do I know what a quiet weekend feels like? Honestly… no.

Sometimes I’m jealous of people who say, “We did nothing this weekend.”

Nothing?

Like… you sat down? Relaxed? Didn’t organize something? Didn’t build a spreadsheet? Didn’t drive the children somewhere? Didn’t clean pee off a toilet seat?

What is that like?

Note: Having children was my decision, so how I manage my time is on me, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t sometimes feel jealous of people who have more time to themselves.

Truthfully, I think part of me craves the movement, the momentum, the productivity. But another part of me is learning that constant motion isn’t always the same thing as fulfillment.

Sometimes being “busy” is just anxiety wearing running shoes.

And I also know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There are so many people carrying full schedules, full households, full responsibilities, and quietly wondering why they still feel behind. If this sounds familiar, I hope this helps shine a little light on that feeling and reminds you that you’re not alone in this beautiful dumpster fire.

Which brings me to the lesson I’m still trying to learn at 42 years old:

How to Say No

Saying no does not come naturally to me.

I like helping. I like being useful. I like seeing ideas come to life. But every yes has a cost; usually time, energy, or attention pulled from something else.

Sometimes saying no means protecting your peace.

Sometimes it means protecting your family time.

Sometimes it simply means admitting your plate is already full, and one more thing will send the whole damn buffet crashing down.

And no, you do not need a dramatic excuse.

“No, I can’t take that on right now” is enough.

No paragraph.

No guilt.

No fake doctor’s appointment.

Just no.

How to Delegate

Delegating has been another challenge for me, mostly because I often think:

It would just be easier if I did it myself.

But is it really easier… or am I just being a control freak with good intentions?

The truth is, delegating helps everyone. It creates trust, builds confidence in others, and prevents one person from carrying the entire load like an exhausted pack mule.

Delegating can:

• Boost employee morale

• Improve skills and confidence

• Increase efficiency

• Free up time for important priorities

• Reduce burnout

• Strengthen teamwork

The best delegation doesn’t mean dumping random crap on people and disappearing. It means teaching, trusting, and communicating clearly.

Start small.

Give clear instructions.

Explain why the task matters.

Let people learn.

Accept that they may do it differently than you would.

Different doesn’t always mean wrong.

Sometimes it just means that if a psychopath loaded the dishwasher, the dishes are still clean.

How to Make Time for Myself

This one may be the hardest.

Most mornings, after dropping the kids off at school, and knowing I should work out for my body and mind. I immediately start negotiating with myself:

“You should just go straight to work.” 

“You have too much to do.” 

“You can work out later.”

But I’m learning that work can wait for an hour.

I can go to my workout class. I can go for a bike ride.

I should go to my workout class. I should go for a bike ride.

Because taking care of myself isn’t a reward for finishing everything else. It’s part of how I’m able to keep showing up for everything else.

When I move my body, clear my mind, or take one hour that belongs to me, I become better at all the other roles I care about.

Also, I’m significantly nicer when I’ve exercised.

The Truth I’m Learning

I can do a lot of things. But I cannot do everything.

So this season of life is about learning boundaries, trusting others, and realizing that rest is productive too.

I can be ambitious and still slow down.

I can care deeply and still say no.

I can build big things and still make time for myself.

Because the goal isn’t to do everything. It’s to do what matters most.

I know there are other people out there who feel this same kind of pressure. The pressure to keep all the balls in the air, to be everything to everyone, and to somehow do it all with a smile on their face while internally unraveling. So if you’re one of those people, I hope this is a way to shine a little light on that feeling. To remind you that you’re not failing because you’re overwhelmed—you’re human. And chances are, you’re carrying a hell of a lot more than anyone realizes.